Do you know what it's like to be in the flow? Those times when you are at work and your full capacities are engaged along with your instincts. I remember this as a mother of a newborn baby. Some days would be blissfully perfect and I really thought I knew what I was doing. On other days things didn't go so well and I would feel like a complete failure, on my own with no clue as to how I could make things better.
I am reminded of this when I think of being responsible for developing groups and teams. So committed to being a leader and wanting to create something with others that is worthwhile and successful. Yet there are days or even weeks when things don’t go smoothly at all.
Long periods of putting up with things not going well ,those times when your role ceases to be fulfilling or the relational side of your work becomes difficult and draining, can lead to a real sense of disconnection. Instead of facing into what is actually going on you start to dream about making enough money to retire and stop working. Have you ever had this fantasy?
This internal state may reflect how alienated you can become from the world of work, rather than a need to give it up.
Teams can disconnect in this way too
Whether a team is under-functioning or functioning well with plenty of potential, there are times when you will need to ask the question “what is going on here?” and explore this with the team.
Of course it is often only when things start to go wrong that we feel the need to ask this question. If we go with the notion that whatever aids our growth may be broadly defined as “useful” even though it may be unpleasant then let's look at some of the learning edges that force leaders to stop and look at what is going on:
• Their team is trapped in a negative dynamic and is getting worse and worse
• People in the team have stopped seeing the value in each other
• Frustration is evident but not being processed
• Meetings are totally outcome focused with no real sense of connecting as a team
• You listen (because you know you should) but in most meetings you take control.
Here are five tips for working with growth edges in teams:
1. Stop focusing on the tasks for a bit and offer the team your feedback when the dynamic feels blocked. Share your impressions of what is happening and describe to the group the behaviour or pattern. Then invite the team /individuals to give their own version of what they notice. Go with the notion of ‘ better out than in’. Although there may not be an immediate solution to what is happening for people there will be learning for all in doing this.
2. Set up an exercise to do in small groups in which members learn in their own way to value and affirm both themselves and each other. Often disillusionment happens because of a lack of feeling of value. Lack of value contributes to lack of flow and connection in teams.
3. To help a team connect and be more present from the beginning of a meeting take some time to warm up to each other, find out what is on top for people and what they are distracted by.
4. Remember to ask open questions – questions that do not have one right answer, but give plenty of space for the team to come up with several possible answers eg: What do people think about that?
5. The more anxious a person is in facilitation, the more controlling their facilitation becomes. Practice noticing how you are feeling before and during your meetings, then let go, so that you can be present to the energetic needs of the team.
For more on how to help communication flow you may want to check out Many Rivers.
Be Extraordinary
Nicola
